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The curious incident of the keys in the Ghost

February 17, 2010

Location:  The far-flung reaches of one of the remote valleys in Alberta’s North Ghost.

Time:  End of a real long day climbing a long, classic ice route in the Ghost.

People:  Nick and Bryce, two out-of-shape, has-been never-were ice climbers, and star dopes on ropes.

Bryce:  “Oh shit.”

Nick:  “What?”

Bryce:  “Did you just close the tailgate?”

Nick:  Oh no. “Yep.”

Bryce:  “Shit!  Shit!  SHIT!!!  Friggin’ keys are locked inside the truck!”

Nick:  “Are you sure?”

Bryce, checking his pockets:  “Yep.  Definitely inside.”

Nick:  “Crap.  So where’s the spare key hidden?”  You do have a spare key hidden somewhere…right?

Bryce:  “I’ve been meaning to do that, especially since we’re back here so much.  Dammit!”

Nick:  You friggin’ … “So, which window do you think will be cheapest to replace?”

Bryce:  “Maybe we can just pry one open or pry the door enough to hit the lock button with a stick.”

Nick:  “Not likely, unless you’re a Yosemite grizzly bear…”

Much futile exploration of that possibility ensues.  Finally Bryce starts trying to smash a window, with much failure.  Nick giggles and helpfully films the escapade.  Then he quietly hits the window sticker with a small rock and the lovely sound of a car alarm pierces the quiet wilderness air.

On the way home, Bryce is checking in with his better half, Sunny, via cell phone:  “Oh yeah, great climb, great day…but…uh…we uh…had a little incident with the new truck.  No, no, we’re both fine.  But we need a new window…”

Later, on the drive home:  “Close the window idiot!”  Duh.

Later that evening…

Bryce:  “It was your fault you idiot!”

Nick:  “It was your fault you idiot!”

Bryce:  “It was your fault!”

Nick:  “It was your fault!”

Ad nauseum.

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